Sunday, February 3, 2019

February is the worst

It was such a relief to hear I'm not the only one who felt like January was a year long. It's not that it was bad, but there were a lot of challenges, and I feel like I ran a marathon and have been in recovery the past few days. I'm tired & I miss sunshine. 

The past couple weeks I've had that voice nagging in my head, "you said you were going to get back to writing this blog and you wrote two entries and abandoned it. AGAIN." It's not that I forgot or gave up again, I just haven't had any energy. 

Sometimes I just have to remind myself that depression and anxiety doesn't need a cause. There is no why. It's just brain chemistry and lack of sunshine for me this weekend. I had events keeping me indoors while the weather was unseasonably warm. Luckily I will have the opportunity to play hooky tomorrow and I can't wait to soak up some vitamins d.

I found a picture of Lilly from her first feis, before she even took a single lesson, where she was so determined to dance in stage that she was harassing volunteers for a number. May she always go for the no like that. There are a couple pictures of her where I see how fierce she will be and it reminds me to keep swimming. I'm going to lay in bed feeling my feelings tonight, but tomorrow I'm going to dust myself off and seize the day. 

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